I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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