I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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