Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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