My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
