idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
