You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
