"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
