omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
