So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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