you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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