Walk of Shame. In a state park.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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