I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
