so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
