you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i out mim tonsoeep
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