here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
