We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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