if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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