Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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