I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
