Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Randomize