girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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