What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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