I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
