i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
