I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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