This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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