I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize