I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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