he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
