i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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