is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize