Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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