so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
