Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
