White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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