Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
they need to just BURY HIM!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize