Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
