i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
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