Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
