he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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