just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
