Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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