the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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