I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i think my cat just said my name.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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