this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
