There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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