Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
