I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Randomize
