the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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