I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
