ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize