am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
