There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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