Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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