Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
