He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
