Porn is love you can see.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
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captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
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So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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