the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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