At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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