My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
